In just over a week, we will have to make our final choices as to which school my eldest son will attend from September. Next week will be a nightly schedule of school open nights to help us or more probably, confuse us further. So far, we have two options in mind, both of which, in differing ways, will be challenging to make the cut. I am hoping that it will be a straightforward decision and that I won't have to embark upon yet another fight in my role of "keyboard warrior", that raging, maternal, super-hero who fights social injustice armed with a trusty computer, printer and lengthy epistles to those in elevated positions of power ... I might even wear my pants on the outside. Now there's an image to behold! ;0)
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I find it VERY difficult to relax. There is always someone or something demanding my time and energy. Sometimes I thrive on the stress. Somehow, it keeps me going and helps get things done. Nevertheless, I know that it would be beneficial to be able to relax and take some "ME time". So, when I was offered the chance to chill out with a group of Autism Mums, I was first in the queue.
http://timeoutatthetreehouse.com/ https://www.facebook.com/timeoutatthetreehouse Ten of us had a lovely time in Lisa's beautiful home in peaceful surroundings near Ballymena, enjoying her hospitality and relaxing treatments which for me included hot tub therapy, auricular acupuncture, facial and foot scrub-rub. Being able to talk to other mums about their experiences was also useful as we are all at different stages of our journey but have similar battles. I never expected to be discussing it, immersed in bubbles, over a glass of bubbly! Great to have made new friends. The "glimmers of hope" that have appeared during Christmas and New Year continue to amaze me. My little Houdini repeated the word "cup" today and said "bye" to the Tesco delivery guys. Earlier, he responded to his Nana's question, What is it?" with "banana." This might not mean much to most people. I mean a 4 year old, saying single words, occasionally in context. Hardly surprising? But for a 4 year old, non-verbal child, this could be the beginning of a whole new world for all of us! Well, the first working week is over and apart from one "party night" (regardless of Melatonin), I think I survived it pretty well! New challenges have been set in school, including my involvement in rehearsals for our school play which is a prospect that I am finding exciting and motivating.
We attended Autism NI on Wednesday night to hear about a program called "Learning Breakthrough". It was interesting but as with everything else, there are no guarantees that this sort of home-based therapy will work. According to some sources on the internet there's no conclusive scientific evidence for it either, although there are plenty of conflicting statements to defend Dore, ABA and others. The fact that so many strategies are kept secret until you are prepared to open your wallet and flash some cash, just serves to prove how equally vulnerable autism parents are in their quest to help their child or young person. Nevertheless, I am trying hard to keep a diplomatically open mind as to the benefits while also trying to weigh up the arguments of "fixing" someone compared with "advocacy" on their behalf. The politics of autism are complicated to say the least! Fingers crossed that next week's launch of the government's Autism Strategy at Stormont will provide access to the necessary services to help both children and adults with autism. And talking of hope, I have noticed that little Houdini has been a lot more vocal since Christmas. I have half-heard some words like thank you, please, come on, Mario Kart, friend. They haven't really been directed at anybody as communication but they are a change in direction from the "babbling" proving that physically, he can talk. Here's hoping 2014 is the year when he actually does. I am fast losing the optimism of New Year. Back to work and normality tomorrow. Although routine for my kids may be great, for me it will mean paperwork, long hours, stress and general grumpiness.
I have really enjoyed the Christmas holidays this year. I have heard our little Houdini repeat short phrases which always gives me hope by the bucket full. I am definitely a frustrated swimmer. In my teens, I had the stamina but never the speed. Nevertheless, swimming was always one of the few sports I enjoyed. As I got older, I convinced myself that the water was so forgiving that it could actually hide body fat in a way that a gym full of toned bodies just accentuates. So, I desperately hoped my first-born would become Northern Ireland's answer to Michael Phelps. Initially, my infant watched poolside until he had had his injections and at 4 months old he was introduced to the water. He loved it! It was a fantastic, weekly bonding time for us and better still, he would fall asleep getting dressed and sleep for a couple of hours afterwards. What a bonus! Aged 4, he started swimming lessons within a small group. He had no fear of the water, sometimes dangerously so, but over time, he mastered the strokes and promptly, lost any determination to follow my dream for him. The moral being that he is who he is and will be who he will be! (but I still bought my friends' kids swimming kits this Christmas... just in case any of them should wish to thank me after achieving their Olympic gold!) Unfortunately, my middle boy didn't get the same opportunities to explore all things aquatic at an early age. The disadvantage of having a younger sibling made it difficult for me to manage the logistics of supervising 3 young children. (Look out, it's that Parental Guilt again!) Luckily, he began lessons last September although remains more timid and hesitant than his older, kamikaze brother. I really don't know what it is about water that fascinates our little Houdini. When he was younger, he was regularly found with his hands under a tap, feeling the running water. We had to lock the bathroom and kitchen doors from the outside to stop him from bathing himself, fully clothed at every opportunity. He loves the pool too but teaching him to swim will have its own challenges. Small groups are definitely the way to go. (We did try the larger class idea but having a coach at the side of the pool barking orders to a distracted child proved to be a HUGE waste of time and money.) Clear concise instructions and visual prompts may help. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Swimtime-NI/177562034833 A wide range of sports are available to kids aged 6+ through the Special Olympics including swimming with the SixMile Sharks in Ballyclare. http://www.specialolympics.ie/GETINVOLVED/ULSTER/FINDACLUB.aspx Why does standing on Lego in the dark have to be sooo flippin' painful? It wasn't exactly the best start my day; a 5 a.m. wake up call from my "baby" who has now learnt to stand on a stool to successfully open our stair-gate. (Well, I say "stair-gate". In reality it is more of a tall wooden garden gate, specially designed and installed by Occupational Therapy which now provides no challenge to our little Houdini.) I wasn't exactly "feeling the love" for the twice awarded "toy of the century" when its corner was embedded firmly in my sole. However, this torturous toy has outweighing benefits, including for children with an autistic spectrum condition.
http://www.pinterest.com/skelmill/learning-with-lego/ http://www.autismdailynewscast.com/lego-play-therapy-benefits-children-with-autism/5228/janetmeydam/ Despite causing the air to turn an intense shade of navy, LEGO all is forgiven! Little causes as much hassle in our house as the "dreaded torture" that is commonly known as haircutting. In fact, we have procrastinated so much that my youngest son's hair could easily be put into a ponytail to rival any Grand National winner.
His surf-dude bob may now resemble Rapunzel but the intensity of his screaming and public meltdown cannot be underestimated. Son #2 copes only marginally better. You'd have to be there. To be heard above the drone of multiple hairdryers is quite some feat. We have tried different salons and family members nipping bits off, here and there but still the nightmare continues. And so, we wait, to prevent anxiety and upset, until it can no longer be avoided. We must face our demons. Today was THAT day. The point of no return. Thankfully, a EXTREMELY patient hairdresser with her own private salon was the answer to our prayers. Two hours of calm perseverance and friendly persuasion (in stark contrast to the tantrums and tears) achieved 2 short haircuts and one fringe. RESULT! One of my many New Year's Resolutions is to take the advice given today and try the "little and often" approach. In 6 weeks time, we will return, armed once more with ipads, chocolate, crisps and other distractions. Meanwhile, we recover. http://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/documents/haircuttingtrainingguide.pdf “A room without books is like a body without a soul.” ― Cicero Unless, of course, these books are scattered and thrown, dust-covers discarded. To be repeatedly gathered. I rest my case for digital libraries! ;) Long live the Kindle! I recommend this amazing story of one mother's journey into autism and how animals can help unlock the door into a child's world. PAWS (Parents Autism Workshops and Support) hold highly successful workshops in Ballymena at Dogs Trust, 60 Teeshan Road, Ballymena, County Antrim to teach parents how dogs can provide valuable assisted therapy. |
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