I have been unable to teach, having succumbed to osteoarthritis and trying to "fight through the pain" for several years. Government cuts to school budgets haven't exactly helped my employment stability either due to the reduction in funding for SEN withdrawal and no devolved government in operation to redress the balance. Although initially heartbroken by this turn of events, it has given me the required opportunity to think about myself/my needs for the first time in a long time.
More importantly, and in the knowledge that this sounds overly pretentious, I have grasped the opportunity to "find my authentic self" by spending time doing things that actually make me feel more than "Kenough," where I'm not in competition/comparison, constantly seeking validation, where I'm no longer hurt by harassment or defamed by an entitled individual, wishing that employing government departments and unions wouldn't simply pay lip service to their "duty of care" but effectively defend their "public servants" and be proactive in making the lies stop. However, while trying to overcome decades of such bitterness and resent, somewhat surprisingly, I have discovered that I actually do like who I am and this newfound freedom to do as I please.
Fortunately, I can fill my days quite effectively as a "domestic engineer." I have decluttered some rooms. I attempt light housework. The "grocery fairy" ensures the fridge, freezer and larder are regularly replenished. I serve up freshly made soups and meals. I answer phone calls and attend parent meetings online and occasionally, in person. I am present at home-time to assist my own child with his homework. I'm available to drop off the forgotten lunch box or art folder. I am so invested in a life/life balance I could well start baking my own bread or rehome a goat! ;)
On Mondays, I attend Slimming World where I have connected with a lovely, supportive group of people each with their own stories and struggles to tell. Over the past 10 months, I have lost 7 stone. I still have a long way to go but I'm eating regularly and mindfully without opting to complete forms or catch up on paperwork instead. I can also visit the "big girls' room" during daylight hours which at my age, is both a blessing and a necessity!
I use my gym membership to swim whenever I want. When I can tolerate it, I also do an Aqua aerobics class. I raised over £300 for the Alzheimer's' Society by swimming 10 miles between mid-September and October. The kind donations of family and friends helped give me greater purpose and confirmed that I can still find ways to contribute to making a difference.
I have made Christmas cards and crackers. I have tried glass fusing and wreath-making (twice) this Christmas. I've painted rocks and arranged flowers. I'd like to experiment with water-colour paints, learn to how to use my Cricut machine and make more silver clay jewellery. I also want to read, as the nearest I had previously managed was airport novels on foreign holidays- again a rarity since our now infamous Fly-Be "walk of shame" incident. I may have my limitations but I'm far from written off yet!